You CAN Sit With Us + WHY.
I’m no professional blogger so bear with me, I think I start all my writings off with this.
With our second event coming up I wanted to write a little more in-depth on WHY “youCANsitwithus” is the title to our events.
It all started in middle school, I had kids calling me werewolf because I was a small tan girl with BLACK hairy arms and legs. Far too young to be shaving in the eyes of my parents (sorry for callin ya out mom & dad, I LOVE YOU) which I got caught shaving on numerous occasions cause I would end up cutting myself trying to shave and not get caught lol. All, so I didn’t get made fun of.
Then high school came along…
I was accused of things that never happened, I had a LOT happen to me that I never said out loud. I probably still won’t say them out loud now that I’m typing this… but the bullying never stopped. I even had a parent of one of my friends spreading rumors and calling me names. I felt broken and alone. Now don’t get me wrong I had great parents who loved and supported me, I played sports- I had a LOT of friends. BUT the bullying NEVER stopped… and I still felt alone. I didn’t know how to express my feelings.
I thought as you got older the “mean girl” mantra would just go away, but boy was I wrong. I think it actually got worse. Working in salons, the gossip was a lot, and it was so easy to catch yourself becoming a part of it. I remember one time, someone actually SWITCHED a co-worker’s color tubes in different boxes! Could you imagine going in to get your blonde hair toned, and your stylist screaming OMG what’s happening, only to realize that the color tube was not the color on the box it was black? I remember talking about it and talking about the person who did it, gossiping. I… became a mean girl. and I am ASHAMED of it.
I caught myself slowly but surely judging people and talking about people with my co-workers/friends. WHO MADE ME QUEEN? Whoever gave me the right to judge someone? NO-ONE did. I am human, and humans make mistakes but that is NO EXCUSE. The more I caught myself falling down the rabbit hole the more depressed I came. I thought to myself, why am I comparing myself to others and why am I making their business mine?
I decided right then-this MEAN GIRL SHIT HAS GOT TO GO. You can NOT treat people like this or yourself like this. It has been a long road, lots of lessons to be learned, one bump in the circle & ya’ end up RIGHT back in with the GOSSIP and starting all over again. Now there is a difference between talking about your feelings versus zooming into a picture someone posted to talk about how their work isn’t perfect. <—- I did that. AND I AM ASHAMED! I talked to others in our industry and I joined in on the GOSSIP! AND I AM ASHAMED!
I wanted to create a community of women who want to support each other, friends, family, local businesses, all of the above. I WANT US TO COME TOGETHER and create, versus coming together and talking about each other, I WANT US TO STOP THE GOSSIP. Because there is ROOM for ALL OF US. ALL OF US. Whether we have the same job or not. There is going to be someone who loves the way you work, and someone who loves the way I work, and someone who loves us both. AND THAT’S OKAY! We should be turning those, “ugh Jonnie Appleseed booked that wedding party” into “hell yeah I’m glad that bride was able to find someone to be a perfect fit for their best day ever, congrats to “bridal company name here” . WHY is it so hard for us to just BE HAPPY FOR EACH OTHER’s SUCCESS? Why do we get jealous?
It’s crazy. and I was OVER it. BEYOND over it. So here is a safe space for us to love and support each other. I want to bring in ALL the locally female-owned companies, makeup, hair, clothing, photography, videography, bakers, cooks, baristas, models, YOU NAME IT. Let’s kick this mean girl mantra and lift each other’s crowns and SUPPORT each other. LET’s help each other avoid the gossip trains, and put a stop to the gossip. The more of us who avoid and shut it down, the less to be said. We are just out here trying to build a life to support ourselves and our families, we should be supporting that.
The events ARE working, girls are creating friendships, girls are telling themselves and each other NICE things, regardless of similarities or differences. The mean girl shit is making its way out, and the youCANsitwithUS is making its way in. In no way are we perfect, I am not perfect – but I do know I want to sit with you, I want to be a better person every single day. Let’s be better together.
-Leiah
